How you know he’s not the one

heart in a jar

I often find myself in situations where deep down I know the guy isn’t for me, but I have already become so comfortable in the relationship that I convince myself that it’s going to work out just fine. I really am a master at leading myself on. I accept things that make me unhappy, hand out second chances like there is no tomorrow, just to cling onto the few happy moments ‘that make it worth it’. In the end the relationship falls apart regardless and the realisation that I invested too much time and energy into something that was never meant to be hurts more than parting ways with someone I thought I wanted in my life. Booohoo!  Because I hate nothing more than wasting time and can’t trust myself to apply common sense when it comes to boys, I’ve come up with a little checklist of no-goes. When I realise he starts ticking more and more boxes, I know it’s time to move on, no second chances allowed, no dramas, no turning back…

tick He’s stingy

I can’t stand tight or stingy guys, especially when you’ve just started dating. Try to impress me please, at least in the beginning! I am not saying he has to invite you to Michelin-starred restaurants every weekend and buy you presents but for God’s sake, why can’t he just get that ice cream once in a while?

tickHe stands you up on the regular

Being stood up is my number one pet peeve, it’s something I really can’t tolerate. I could give you a whole backstory of why I am so sensitive to it, but that’s material for another post, either way, even if it wasn’t for personal experience, I think it’s bad form.  He clearly doesn’t respect you enough. Arggh this is really one that drives me mad.

tickYou can’t argue with him

I am the first to admit I am stubborn and like to have things my way. I tend to say how it is, I am awful at holding my tongue. I think it’s important to be with someone who isn’t afraid to talk back and who can stand his ground. If you have to fear that every dispute you’re having is going to end in a break up, then he’s not for you. As for me, I like someone confident who can appreciate my honesty and wit (hell, yeah I am witty!).

tickHe doesn’t defend you

If you know me, you’ll know that I am more than capable of standing up for myself but it’s oh-so-nice to know he’s got my back. If he doesn’t support me, even when I’m clearly in the wrong then I am sorry, get your priorities right, mister! The door is that way!

tickHe lies

What can I say, lying and cheating are the two things, which overweigh everything else on this list, if you catch him doing either, that should really be the end. Respect YOURSELF enough to walk away. If he does it once, he’ll do it again. And at the end of the day, we all deserve better than that.

tickHe makes you feel insecure

There are two ways I have experienced, in which a guy can make you feel insecure. One is by constantly putting you down and trying to make you feel inferior, the other is by acting in a way that makes you wonder whether you can trust him. Either of the two is good enough reason to dump his sorry a**.

tickHe doesn’t have table manners

It doesn’t matter how well he dresses or how much money he makes, if he can’t hold knife and fork, we have a problem.

tickHe’s rude to waiters or shop assistants

How he treats others around him, especially those he doesn’t know, says a lot about his character.

tickHe makes you cry …and not out of joy

If you find yourself being upset more than happy then you know what time it is…kick him to the curve.

tickHe annoys you

“Err yeah of course”, you might say. But believe me, I have dated someone who annoyed the s** out of me for a few months just because I thought he is a nice person deep down, he actually wasn’t and I learned that the hard way.

tickHe doesn’t think you’re funny

Ok, first of all, I am absolutely hilarious (at least I think so) and I need people to appreciate that. Secondly, humour and interests are such important things in a relationship. If you can’t find common ground here, then you’re just not meant to be, sorry.

What do you reckon, ladies? Have I left anything out? Feel free to share your personal no-goes with me!

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