It is as they say, no good story ever started with someone eating a salad, however no matter how funny and entertaining some drunk-tales are, next-day-shame usually hits you like a brick wall – ouch. I, for example, am known for drunk oversharing and it does make me cringe a fair bit the next day. And because we all do stupid yet funny stuff while being a bit tipsy, I have come up with a short list of slightly embarrassing and cringe-worthy things to be avoided – even though these make for the best memories.
1. Karaoke – unless you’re super talented or have a super talented friend who will do the singing for you and you can just hop around/dance in the background for support, don’t do it. Alcohol does not increase your vocal talents.
2. Don’t ask the bar manager for his bar staff’s working schedule, no matter how cute the guys are. A friend of mine did that once, I still think she’s an absolute legend for it, but she cringed about it the next day. Needless to say she never got the schedule and is still bitter about that.
3. Oversharing – my personal vice. People around you don’t really need to know your whole life story or every single thought that comes to mind. Slap on the wrist or mouth for that matter!
4. Drunk arguments, these are no fun and make for no good stories, so let’s just not do it.
5. Cooking. Not a good idea, not only will the result be anything but a culinary delight, it’s simply not safe. My cousin once decided to make Tortellini in the oven (don’t ask!) and fell asleep. As a result she nearly burnt down her apartment and was forced to live with a burnt tortellini smell for about a week. Glorious days!
6. Hitting on that cute guy at the bar. Ok, this might work but chances are it won’t. Guys usually, don’t go for intoxicated ladies unless they are desperate and a bit creepy, and realistically you’re not as charming as you think when drunk. Let’s just stick to stumbling around on the dance floor and telling your friends you love them to the moon and back. Smooch!
7. Riding a bike, apart from the fact that it’s against the law, it is absolutely dangerous and no one wants to explain to their boss on a Monday morning how they got a black eye, plus it looks pretty shit, just pay for a cab!
8. Drunk texting/calling/snapchatting/facetiming/facebooking, apparently a huge problem amongst the partying community. This one’s the ultimate no-no, but unfortunately hard to control. Let’s be honest though, if you and your ex-beau were broken up at 4pm, a text at 2am will probably not change that. If you’re prone to actions like this, you might want to consider handing your phone to your bestie until you jet home, at least you (and the man in question) are safe for a few hours.
Is there anything I left out? Feel free to share in the comment section below!