I know, I know I go on about this A LOT and I do know that I am not really that old….yet. I am also aware that 30 (calm down guys, I am not 30) shouldn’t be compared to 80. As they say 30 is the new 20 – find a challenging opinion on that matter here (I warn you, this link will crush you). But knowing all this doesn’t mean my body isn’t showing first signs of ageing. Unfortunately or fortunately I am no 21 year old anymore and my path to wisdom, grand stories and old age has left its mark. Herewith, I present to you my top 10 signs that the decaying process has begun.
1. One morning – probably around the day of your 24th birthday – you look in the mirror and spot your first wrinkle. OMG – vampire facial, anyone?!
2. The elusive grey hair. I haven’t found one yet, which might have to do with the fact that I don’t actually know what my real hair colour is anymore BUT the day will come sooner than I wish. One of my friends, she’s only about a year older than me, has already started turning grey and by that I mean every time I see her (about three times a year) she’s got a new addition. Now that I come to think of it, they only seem to multiply when I’m around…ooops
3. Taking fitness advice from Instagram becomes a health and safety issue. The 30 Day Squat Challenge is neither for me nor my joints…
4. You’re suddenly part of ‘the old crowd’ at clubs – bars are still ok though, phew!
5. Your metabolism slowly but surely starts slowing down. Now you have to work out, educate yourself on nutrition and be healthy, God damn it!
6. Cheap shops like H&M and Forever21 slowly start losing their appeal ….. I’m not quite there yet, give me another five to ten years.
7. You wish you never got those tattoos…
8. You start spending your money wiser and are able to afford stuff, yay! Finally.
9. You are excited about a night in, in front of the TV with some grapes and kiwi – yuck, kiwi!
10. You start thinking long-term. Career paths, mortgages, weddings and babies are suddenly becoming real things. That biological clock of yours is ticking!!!! Can I say it one more time please? Noooooooooooooo